child's play

Break up to makeup is for children. Playing with someone's emotions because you don't have yourself together is something found common in grade school not when you are older and should have matured. If there is a problem in your life whether with your job, relationship, friendship, or tasks to complete you don't just quit when the going gets rough. My boss looked at me wrong and promoted 'so-and-so' over me so I QUIT. Me and my significant other got into a fight and he hurt me feelings so ITS OVER. My close friend said something I don't agree with and they are out to get me like everyone else so I CUT THEM OFF. The reason why I say these actions are child's play because as a child you are unaware of the concepts of reasoning, discussing your feelings, working past disagreements, and forgiving and forgetting.

At work you don't quit a job just because something does not go your way. Especially is this job is your only means of finances and you can't afford to quit. Search for a job and have one already in hand before sending in your two weeks to management. Make a list of pros and cons for remaining with that company before making your final decision.

In relationships always remember that one argument does not mean it's over. You will fight, disagree, hate each other, want to smack them, and all of the above. Nothing is perfect and don't expect it to be. Love is not meant to be easy because if it was everyone would be in relationships. Love is hard and it takes time. You have to communicate and talk about your issues. What is making you sad, what you don't like, what needs to change. How will that person know what is bothering you and what is effecting your relationship if you do not discuss these things with them.

In friendships you have different levels of people in your life. BFFs, Friends, Frienemies, associates, and people you just smile and say hello to when you see them. You have to seperate people into these categories in order to know what to expect from certain people. You can't expect your frienemie to be over heels happy for you when you tell them your boyfriend/girlfriend is amazing and you are so in love. You can't expect an associate to care about your problems and give advice. You can expect you BFF to be there for you when you need them through good times and bad. Good times when you love this person and consider them family. Bad times when you don't even know why you associate yourself with that person.

By all means if a certain person in your life is not adding anything but drama and uneeded stress then you need to cut them off. Never settle for anything and this is for jobs, friendships, and relationships. You deserve someone in your life that will make you happy and is worth your time. But realize who is worth keeping around and who isn't. Don't think the world is out to get it. It's possible for someone to actually care about you and as an adult you should realize that. Leave child's play for the children and grow up.

soar the night away ...

Updates are slow. I've been planning and budgeting for everything I need this September when I move into my apartment. I'm really excited and happy right now. On September 2, 2009 my boyfriend and I will celebrate our 2 year anniversary. I am so happy and blessed to have a man like him in my life. My parents are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary on August 25th. Love is beautiful and life is good.

Fabulous Hair Journey

I'm not sure if I'm going to blog on here about my hair journey or not. Matter of fact I'm won't but I just wanted to get things down before joining the various hair care communities and forums online. I'm a Black woman with natural hair and I am partaking along with many Black women in healthy hair care. The major misconception is that Black women cannot "grow" hair. There is no such thing as growing hair. All women of all races grow 0.5 inches per month which equals 6 inches a year. The main problem is the amount of grease, lack of washing, and heat used for many Black women. Petroleum and Mineral Oil are terrible for our hair. We need moisturizers not oils, water, alcohol, and petroleum. The amount of heat should not be used and the type of relaxers. I encourage every woman to visit longhaircareforum.com keepitsimplesista.blogspot.com for general hair care tips and advice. They have women whose hair is down to their waist, bra stap, and arm pit lengths. Beautiful and healthy hair is attainable with a change of lifestyle and a few steps.

People are already saying I am crazy for planning to wash my hair every week and conditioning wash twice a week but this will work when I have flowing healthy hair down my back they can shut their faces.

Last night I took out my sew-in weave which is my natural hair in cornrow braids with human hair sewn on top. I'm going to wash my hair with

Creme of Nature (CON) Detangling and Conditioning Shampoo
V05 Moisure Milks Moisuturizing Conditioner in Strawberries and Creme a
and use
Kids Shea Butter Detangling Moisturizing Hair Lotion. I also have Herbal Essense Long Term Relationship Shampoo and Conditioner to try out and Nexxus Clarifying Shampoo.

I will post links to my hair blog when I get that started. I would like to thank a personal friend for the help, advice, and information of getting started.

Happy Independence Day

It doesn't matter whether you were born here in America, immigrated, or still bitter because the actual date that we celebrate Independence Day Black slaves were not free. Either way you are still an citizen (I would hope) of the United States of America and everyday you have freedom you should count your blessings and always give support to the troops. People do not have the same liberties and freedom in other countries. So, in my family we celebrate and go big for the Fourth of July. Despite my endless disagreements with the government and how it conducted itself in the past and currently I am proud to be free.

I think fireworks are so romantic. Mike (My boyfriend) came over to my house today for my family's annual cookout and Fourth of July celebration. Me and my Dad travel to Canton, Ohio every year to Phantom Fireworks to put on a show! It's so much fun and we lit up the entire neighborhood. Who needs to work through busy crowds and traffic when you have the best show right in your backyard. Granted its costly but completely worth it. I was bitter and upset about the holidays earlier but I got over it. I have no idea why it's easier to blog on here instead of updating my private livejournal.

I love this song by Mariah Carey and I listen to it year round and not just around the fourth of July. It's so beautiful and its Mariah so it's fabulous from her Butterfly album. It's actually one of my top two Mariah Carey songs of all time.



I hope everyone had a safe Independence Day.

BET Awards Review

Let me start by stating the highlights of the night. Ne-Yo's performance was beautiful and very respectful in tribute to Michael Jackson. I enjoyed Beyonce's performance and I thought it was very appropriate for the passing of Michael Jackson. I was disappointed in the feedback and reaction from various people on twitter who felt that Beyonce's performance was horrible because she was actually singing instead of shaking her ass and dancing but I will elaborate on that later. The OJays took me away when they still had their dance moves and performed some of their hit songs. Tyrese, Johnny Gill, and Trey Songs performed Stairway to Heaven it was very nice. Maxwell was a little pitchy but his overall performance was amazing. Ciara did a decent job considering she can't really hold a note, she looked really good.

The problem with BET is that they are not owned by Black people. BET was bought by Viacom in 2005 which owns all three music television stations. There is no coincidence that the station which caters to mostly Black people received the lowest production and quality when it comes to programming and in this case award shows. The people at Viacom do not have our best interest in mind and they only care about making a profit. Debra Lee should put her footdown and not accept some of the coonery that goes on over at BET but money talks. The sound was terrible throughout the night but when you tune into the MTV Video Awards it was not a problem. Black people used to look out for each other in the past or "back in the day". In the early 50's, 60's, and 70's Black businesses flourished and the quality of parenting was so much better back then. My parents are old school and they both at 55 years of age. I was raised by parents who were married (25 years this August) and they instilled values within me of respect, love, and how to carry myself as a classy woman. The problem with the Black community starts in the home. BET promotes lifestyles of the opposite and exposes our Black men and women to negative images and portrayal of life in general. We used to have entertainment that cared about promoting positive images and the advancement of the Black community and youth in general.


The worst performance of the night was done by none other than Little Weezy F. Baby, Young Money, Lil' Influenza. I was disgusted at how three girls no older than 16 were on stage dresses like hookers, shaking and dancing to Every Girl. Which is a song discussing how he wants to "FUCK" every girl in the world. His daughter was in the audience and I'm not sure if that was actually her on stage. Children should not be exposed and listening to that type of music. I wasn't allowed when I was in middle school to listen to vulgar music whether rock, hip-hop, or whatever. All I heard on my end was a large bleep throughout the entire song, what is the point! The skit from Baby Boy with the actor who played the boyfriend of Jody's mother looked drunk and/or high and he conducted himself as such. It was a very awkward moment when he openly cussed at the BET awards and left the audience questioning what was actually going on.

The bad part is that in the recent passing of Michael Jackson I was expecting a decent tribute to Michael Jackson and they failed. I understand it was last minute but I would have rather then push back the date of the award show so that they can give Michael the appropriate tribute. Chris Brown would have been perfect but they stopped him from performing because of his incident with Rihanna in his personal life. I don't agree with domestic violence not one bit but to stop him from performing because of one incident is ridiculous. But we allow convicted murders and drug dealers to perform on the same stage? I don't understand. We allow little girls to dance and dress inappropriately who are under 18 is OK. Music is DEAD! We have so manyfew artist who are actually musically talented its sad. People don't appreciate music nor talent anymore all they want to hear in the Boom Boom Pow (nothing against Black Eye Peas) and Autotune nonsense. If anything Michael's passing allowed us 48 hours of straight music. The humanitarian award and speeches by Alicia Keys and Wyclef Jean were touching and one of the highlights of the night. Other than that another epic fail from Black Embarrassing Television.

Remembering Michael Jackson

I am heartbroken. My prayers go out to the Jackson family, and my heart goes out to his children. Let us remember him for his unparalleled contribution to the world of music, his generosity of spirit in his quest to heal the world & the joy he brought to his millions of devoted fans throughout the world. No artist will ever take his place -Mariah Carey

Words can't begin to describe how I feel. Michael Jackson's death felt as if I lost a member of my own family. No one saw this coming nor expected his life to end so abruptly. But all in all God took him away from the world for a reason and I hope that he finds peace that he struggled to find here in this mad world. It saddens me that the media and society tried so hard to destroy him and now that he is gone they want to praise and deem him an icon once again. Where were his friends of the music industry when he went through the trials, accusations, and really could have used a friend. I remember as a child I watched Moonwalker every single day. Then American Dream: The Jacksons movie became a must watch daily. We all grew up on this wonderful and brilliant musician and all of our lives were impacted by him in some way. Michael Jackson will forever be The King of Pop and the best entertainer of all time. I never believed he committed those crimes. Through psychological evaluations one can conclude that Michael was deprived of a childhood and those child-like tendencies transgressed into his adulthood. His entire life was filled with scandal, tragedy, and stress that no child nor person should have to be accustomed to.

Either way this was not to analyze his life but to celebrate his musical brilliance and creativity. Because of Michael Jackson we have conceptual music videos and music as we know it. Before Michael there was Jackie Wilson and James Brown but ultimately Michael Jackson combined those inspirations, made it his own, and redefined music and what it meant to be an entertainer. There will never be another. He placed Black women and men in a positive light and forced us to recognize racial and world poverty issues through his music.

I wanted to share two of my favorite Michael Jackson songs that were slightly overlooked from his Invincible album, Butterflies and Heaven Can Wait.






My other favorites include: You are not alone, Rock with you, Dirty Diana, Scream, Bad, Billie Jean, Thriller, Remember the time, and Leave me alone.